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Week 10 went pretty much according to plan, at least as far as picking the outright winners went. We repeated our Week 9 success and went 11-3 for the second straight week. As for our picks with the point spreads involved, we were again respectable, going 7-7. But now there are two extra games to chew on each week, as byes are now bygones. We'll have to work even harder to stay above the .500 mark from this point forward, and the path to success is a tough one to follow. Perhaps we can help stay on the right track by analyzing some of the most colossally awful movies of all time (as voted on by members of imdb.com) and learning the lessons of what to avoid if we want to make Week 11 a surefire hit. Perhaps this was an equally awful segue into the picks. Perhaps that's only appropriate. In any event, here's the Week 11 rundown:

Tale of the Tape
Week 10, Straight Up: 11-3 (Overall: 86-58)
Week 10, Versus the Spread: 7-7 (Overall: 73-71)

Thursday, November 13

Jets at New England (-3½)

"It's Pat" (1994): Is Pat a guy? A girl? Both? Neither? And does anyone even care by the end of the movie? -- Who's the running back for the Pats? Is it Sammy Morris? Is it LaMont Jordan? Kevin Faulk? BenJarvus Green-Ellis? And will the Jets even care by the end of the game? Probably not.

Prediction: Jets by 2

Sunday, November 16

Denver at Atlanta (-5½)

"Leonard Part 6" (1987): A secret agent is called out of retirement to save the world from an evil genius. -- Well, perhaps Tatum Bell isn't a secret agent, but certainly Rudi Johnson believes in his "hot fingers." Can Bell save the Broncos' season by providing a rushing attack or will he, like this Bill Cosby film, be a colossal disappointment? We think Tatum Part 2 goes straight to video.

Prediction: Falcons by 10

Philadelphia at Cincinnati (+9½)

"Glitter" (2001): Mariah Carey paints her life story as an uplifting tale of going from rags to riches. -- You can change the name of the lead character all you want; it's not going to make this dull tale any more interesting to look at. Same goes for the Bengals' passing attack. Chad Johnson can call himself Ocho Cinco, but the music he and Ryan Fitzpatrick are making is still painful to listen to.

Prediction: Eagles by 18

Chicago at Green Bay (-5½)

"Baby Geniuses" (1999): Scientists kidnap super-intelligent babies. -- Nobody expected the young Matt Forte to become so successful so soon. And yet he's having a standout season that has forced opposing defenses to take notice. Of course, the Packers might not be the most adept group at foiling the run, but they should be able to slow him down long enough for Aaron Rodgers to throw a few touchdown passes and take this one.

Prediction: Packers by 1

Houston at Indianapolis (-8½)

"Daddy Day Camp" (2007): A pair of fathers try to keep their sanity while trying to whip a motley group of kids into shape. -- Tony Dungy and Marvin Harrison are nearing the ends of their stellar careers, and the Colts are not the dominant force they once were. The young Texans have never had much success against Indianapolis, and they'll hang tough here, but in the end the old guard still has one last lesson to teach.

Prediction: Colts by 7

New Orleans at Kansas City (+4½)

"Kazaam" (1996): Troubled, picked-on youth bumps into an old boom box and releases a 7-foot-tall genie that can't make free throws. -- Tyler Thigpen doesn't get a lot of respect from fans around the country, but the fact is that he's performing quite well since stepping in to replace Brodie Croyle and Damon Huard. However, he has run out of wishes and lacks the supporting cast to beat the Saints and their high-flying offense.

Prediction: Saints by 9

Oakland at Miami (-10½)

"Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000" (2000): In the future, man is enslaved by the Psychlos, a greed-driven race of aliens. -- In the present, the Raiders are enslaved by a greed-driven owner. Maybe by the year 3000, this team might actually score some points again.

Prediction: Dolphins by 15

Baltimore at Giants (-6½)

"Cool as Ice" (1991): Vanilla Ice as a rebel without a cause. -- People thought Eli Manning was miscast as the leader of a winning team, too. Of course, Eli doesn't try to overreach and do too much, but he can still light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.

Prediction: Giants by 7

Minnesota at Tampa Bay (-3½)

"Hobgoblins" (1988): A young security guard must chase down aliens with hypnotic powers. -- The Tampa Bay defense must chase down Adrian Peterson, who also has an uncanny knack of making defenders miss what is right in front of their eyes. The only thing is, the Vikings might have to chase down a refurbished Cadillac this week, and tackling him may hurt a lot.

Prediction: Bucs by 9

Detroit at Carolina (-14½)

"Santa With Muscles" (1996): Hulk Hogan stars as an evil millionaire who, after getting amnesia, thinks he's Santa Claus. -- The front office of the Lions woke up one morning and thought they knew how to run a football franchise. That hasn't worked out any better than this Hogan film … or "Mr. Nanny" or "Suburban Commando" or "No Holds Barred."

Prediction: Panthers by 23

Tennessee at Jacksonville (+2½)

"Gigli" (2003): Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez together at the height of their popularity: How could this movie possibly go wrong? And yet a movie featuring a mentally challenged kidnap victim and a "lesbian assassin" didn't achieve perfection. Go figure. -- Eventually, the Titans are going to hit a wall themselves and stumble a bit against a foe whose performance they didn't see coming. But they respect Jacksonville too much to overlook the Jaguars this week. They'll live to fight another day.

Prediction: Titans by 8

St. Louis at San Francisco (-3½)

"Troll 2" (1990): Young Joshua and his family take a trip to the town of Nilbog, which -- surprise, surprise -- is actually the kingdom of the goblins. -- Yes, it's about as hard to believe that the family in this film couldn't figure out that "Nilbog" is "goblin" spelled backward as it is to swallow Mike Martz's explanation of why he called for a handoff to Michael Robinson on the last play in Monday's game. More baffling, of course, is the fact that there is no troll at all in a film called "Troll 2," but regardless, the Rams are probably the only team in the league gullible enough to fall victim to the Niners' shenanigans right now.

Prediction: Niners by 12

Arizona at Seattle (+3½)

"The Hottie & the Nottie" (2008): Paris Hilton's take on Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew." -- Arizona? That's hot. Seattle? As if. Like, not, you know. Whatever.

Prediction: Cardinals by 11

San Diego at Pittsburgh (-4½)

"House of the Dead" (2003): Teens arrive on a secluded island where they've heard a rave is scheduled, but alas, there's no rave, only zombies. Don't you hate when that happens? -- The Chargers arrive in Pittsburgh expecting to face a beaten and battered Steelers team. Yet despite all the physical abuse, Ben Roethlisberger continues to defy the odds and still gives this team an offensive pulse, and Willie Parker expects to rise from his grave and carry the ball, as well.

Prediction: Steelers by 6

Dallas at Washington (+1½)

"Manos: The Hands of Fate" (1966): Family makes a wrong turn and ends up in a Satanic hotel run by a crippled concierge. -- Yes, in this phenomenally awful piece of cinematic fare, the terrifying monster Torgo is just a guy with swollen knees. Just the sight of Torgo made folks uncomfortable and threw them off their game, which is why even if Clinton Portis can't play, just by standing on the sidelines he might creep out the Cowboys enough so that the Redskins can win.

Prediction: Redskins by 4

Monday, November 17

Cleveland at Buffalo (-4½)

"Just For Kicks" (2003): Tom Arnold coaches the twins from "Zack and Cody" to soccer stardom. -- Let's see: A seemingly overwhelmed coach with a youthful team leader … where have we heard that one before? Sounds like Romeo Crennel and Brady Quinn … but it could just as easily apply to Dick Jauron and Trent Edwards. So in the case of deciding between these two "twins," we're going to go with the one who is playing at home.

Prediction: Bills by 5

The ESPN Eliminator requires that you make one and only one pick each week. You win and you live to pick again. You lose and it's all over. In Week 10, we finally achieved perfection. That's right! All five games were picked correctly, earning us all 15 possible points, and helping us improve to just better than 79 percent for the season. This week, we're jumping on the Panthers' bandwagon with both feet. First off, there's no way that Jake Delhomme has as poor a showing as he did last week, with his 7-for-27 passing resulting in only 72 yards and four interceptions. And remember, Carolina still managed to win! Secondly, this week the Panthers face the Lions, who may well win a game before this season is over … but it's not going to happen with Daunte Culpepper reading plays off that phone book attached to his wrist. Talk about a complete disaster: It's the Rod Marinelli regime. Here's the full listing of our top picks for this week's Eliminator:

DEFCON 5: Panthers
DEFCON 4: Dolphins
DEFCON 3: Eagles
DEFCON 2: Falcons
DEFCON 1: Cardinals

Good luck to all of you, and remember, even if your playoff chances are dead, that's no reason you can't finish out the season with your head held high. After all, Ed Wood didn't just throw away his footage of Bela Lugosi when the actor passed away during the filming of "Tomb of the Vampire." No, Wood just spliced the footage into the film "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and created one of the best-loved pieces of awful cinema ever shot. Keep on keeping on, y'all!